Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize