I wanna bring you to show and tell
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Randomize
