someone get that fucking seahorse.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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