Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
