hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Come share oat with me in your robe
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
