one two three fourrrrnication!
This house was built for laser tag.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
