just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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