so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
