There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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