I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
