I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
