I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she peed on how many people?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.