fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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