Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
