and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
