she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
