yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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