Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she peed on how many people?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
