I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
