it hurts more in the daytime
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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