Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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