I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Bring me that man meat
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
