is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
