Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
