its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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