You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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