We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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