so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
