he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
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You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
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Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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