This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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