I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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