just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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