I can't breathe out the right side of my face
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
