You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
