Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it was like eating out sand paper
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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