i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
