this just has baby written all over it
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
