Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Randomize
