Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Randomize
