ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
