I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
