people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
