I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
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Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
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THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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