Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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