I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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