i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
