Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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