K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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