I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
someone owes me an orgasm
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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