i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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