1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
