thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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