I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize