My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
