Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
