sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
