I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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