What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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